It’s time to dispel some myths about partner dancing. I’ve covered some before, like the idea of learning by social dancing or the idea of right and wrong. But, that’s far from the only misconception or myth that exists about social dancing! Some are actively encouraged, and others are just ‘understandings’ people have when they enter the scene.
This list isn’t exhaustive, and some people may disagree with some of them. But, generally speaking, I’d say that they hold pretty true.
1. You can become one of the best dancers without classes, mentorship, or training
This is just not a thing. While not every great dancer takes regular dance classes, they are working on their craft. Some find tutelage under a mentor who knows how to guide them through the process. Others lack means or access, but leverage the most out of 1 or 2 classes by spending hours training on their own.
If you meet someone who prides themselves on never taking classes, they’re very often not the strongest technical dancers. If you are dancing with a ‘self-taught’ who is technically strong (not just ‘fun’ in a social dance setting), I guarantee you they got guidance from somewhere. They may not admit it or ‘recognize’ it as a legitimate source of training, but good technique doesn’t just materialize on its own.
2. The only way to become a good dancer is to take a lot of classes and privates
This idea is the opposite of the self-trained myth. While the person who takes 20 privates a month is likely to improve more quickly than someone who takes only group classes, it is not the only means to becoming a great dancer.
There are some people who are great dancers and barely have access to formalized training. For example, someone may attend congress workshops – but have no regular classes in their hometown. Or, they may only have the funds for one private every few months. These people can still become strong dancers by training and really seeking to pull every possible gain from the information they received. They often also communicate quite closely with mentors who can help them on their journey.
3. If you are not talented, you will never be a great dancer
False. First of all, talent is relative. Obviously, the person who has been training in classical ballet for 20 years is going to have an easier time jumping into social dance than someone who has never played a sport in their life. Similarly, musicians often have an easier time with musicality and rhythm than their non-musical counterparts.
Experience masquerading as ‘talent’ is not limited to people with other genre dance training. It can also apply to people with sports, theatrical, or other movement background.
This isn’t talent. It’s life experience. You can develop the ‘talent’ to do the same thing if you put in the time and hours. You just have to be willing to work hard and train your body. Discipline and hard work are far more instrumental to becoming a great dancer than ‘talent’.
4. I already know how to do that move
No, you don’t. You know how to do part of that move. You know how to get through that move. You don’t ‘know’ that move yet – there’s always room to make it better. But, if you refuse to realize that you have room for improvement on it, you’ll never improve it.
Instead of cutting off future progress, go back and find the small spots where you’re not getting it 100% correct. Check your weight transfer, body placement, hand placement, timing, and more. Check your style and hip movement. Check your core engagement.
There’s a lot more to each move than ‘just getting through it’.
5. Follows love leads with flashy moves
Follows love leads who have flashy moves that are based on a great connection. If we have to pick between connection and moves, we’ll pick connection every time. Do we like fun, high-level moves? Yes, but not when Jim-Bob from our 101 class wrestles us through his latest YouTube favourite.
Seriously. If you’re going to pick one because you’re not a fab great dancer yet, give us a good connection. Even if you’re not particularly dynamic as a partner because you haven’t developed all those high-level skills yet, we still always prefer ‘clean, connected, but not particularly interesting’ to ‘wtf?!’
6. Leads love follows who dance sexy
Well, leads love follows who look good when they dance… if it’s founded on a great connection. It’s the same way follows love advanced moves founded on a great connection. It’s always better to be connected but plain than to be flashy and out of control.
If you have the skill to look and feel good, use both. But, if it comes down to one or the other, pick connection. Every time.
7. You should always accept a dance, unless you have a specific reason not to
False. Accepting a dance is your decision. You can choose to decline a dance for whatever reason you want – it’s your right. Even if it’s a rude and horrible reason, you can still decline a dance.
Does that mean you should abuse your right to decline dances? No. Think of it like free speech: you can do whatever you want, but some things are best left unsaid. If you’re declining dances because you hate the fact that beginners are ‘so boring’, I would encourage you to re-evaluate your perspective. It’s still your right to decline (and that’s still better than a pity dance), but it certainly doesn’t make you a generous dancer.
8. Great dancers are great teachers
No – dancing and teaching are two different skills. Some great dancers are terrible teachers. Some ‘meh’ dancers are great teachers. If you’ve ever been to university and studied under a great researcher, you may know what I’m talking about. Some researchers are great profs. Some are just teaching because they have to in order to keep their job. Some like teaching, but really can’t figure out how to help people understand what is going on inside their brain.
The same thing is true for dance teachers. Some pro’s teach because they’re expected to. Some like teaching, but can’t figure out how to break down anything they do. Some are incredibly gifted with explaining concepts, even if you wouldn’t immediately point at them and say ‘wow! they’re incredible!’
9. There’s only 1 right way to do something
Nope! There are many right ways to do things. I once sat on a couch for an hour and a half while two well-regarded teachers debated how a move worked. They both had a completely different way of creating the same movement on a follow’s body. They also both had very valid reasons for doing it ‘their way’. Both ways were the ‘right’ way.
That’s not to say that every way is OK. There are certainly some very wrong ways to do things. However, be very wary if someone tells you that there is only one way to do a move.
Most professionals recognize that the same end can be achieved through several very different means. Most also have a preference for one particular way of achieving the result, based on their experience, training background, and what they value most in a dance.
10. Learning the opposite role will prevent you from improving.
False. As someone who has always learned to lead and follow at the same time (aside from Tango and WCS, which are coincidentally the two dances I have trouble leading), I will always advise someone who wants to learn the opposite role to start as soon as possible. Yes, it’s harder to balance at the beginning – but it also makes it easier to ‘switch brains’ to leading.
I compare it to languages: children who are raised with two languages can switch easily between the two. Adults who have only spoken one language tend to have a much harder time learning a new one from scratch.
I think I’ll make that my next post, because I have way more to say on that one.
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Do you have a myth you’d like to bust that’s not in the list? Have comments about some of the entries? Leave them below, and share the article!
Great article, as always. But I do note some exceptions to #3. Someone with 20 years of ballet training may indeed NOT have an easier time in social dance because the skills (connection, groundedness) are quite different. Ballet dancers seem to take easily to tango & ballroom but not in some of the more ‘earth-bound’ dances, such as salsa, Although musicians might seem to have an advantage, I do know a number of musicians who don’t dance well at all. I’ve always wondered about that: maybe it has something with the way they process music?
I totally agree that Ballet does not always make things like connection easier – but the whole “step here, keep balance, spin” tends to be a lot easier for them. It still puts them ahead of someone with no partner dance AND no other dance training.
With musicians, some are really crappy dancers… but they’re almost always able to count the music and stay on time – which is an advantage when compared to the person who has to learn how to hear music!
One of the best articles I’ve read here <3.
I actually had an easier time learning to lead later down the road when I had been following for a few years and knew my part so thoroughly that I could picture myself doing the dance from the outside–almost like an out-of-body experience. This was also when I started getting serious about videoing myself dancing, and I would review the footage and break down the move from both partners’ perspectives.
A nicely Quoted article, I must say!! Dancing is the form of art we have and we really do have to respect the discipline of dance forms and dance floor, I liked the way you explained the pros and cons of the dance floor.