Dangerous dancers: we’ve all danced with one. If we’ve been dancing a while, probably several. But, one thing many people do not pause to consider is:
Are we the dangerous dancer everyone keeps talking about?
It is important to note that I have never, ever met a dancer who is actively looking to hurt or endanger their partner. I don’t think anyone comes to social dance and thinks “How can I cause harm to this person today?” Otherwise, I probably wouldn’t be social dancing.
There are also a few ‘types’ of dangerous dancers. Some dangerous dancers can even be really good partners when conditions are right – but when conditions fail, all hell breaks loose.
Type 1: The One Who Thinks They’re Doing It Right
Who they are: This is the type of dangerous dancer we think about more often. This is the dancer who pulls their partner around, self-dips, or otherwise ‘forces’ the partner into movements.
They’re like the driver on the road who never thinks they’ll get into an accident because they’re ‘too good a driver’, so they ride the edge of safety – thinking they can ‘handle it’.
Where it comes from:
- Overleading, backleading, or arm-leading.
- Lack of connection and awareness of the partner’s body.
How they’re dangerous: These ones are generally most prone to injure a partner through force. This is where pulled shoulders and bad backs most frequently come front. Whether the ‘blame’ is placed on the partner or not, it’s the dancer’s faith in their own skill set that is the cause of peril.
You may be one of these dancers if:
- You think you’re doing it 100% right, or you refuse to get training
- You assume that because a move didn’t work, you should lead or follow more forcefully
- You assume that because a move didn’t work, it’s your partner’s fault
- You assume that leading happens by ‘making’ the follow go somewhere
- You assume that dips are all partner-supported
- You learn ‘cool stuff’ from YouTube – and don’t get formal training.
- Your lead stays only to very basic movements, even though you think you can do more
- Your follow is adding resistance to the connection, slowing down movements, or aborting some movements
- You invitations are frequently declined, or
- Many people seem to tell you about ‘injuries’ they have – and ask you to please dance softly/gently.
How you can fix it: Practice your connection skills, and learn how to sense when your partner is not in the movement with you. If you are a lead, try leading with less force and arm motion. If you are a follower, err on the side of not dipping and taking your time to understand the lead.
Type 2: The One Who Speeds
Who they are: This dancer loves fast speeds – even in super-complex moves. They tend to forget to breathe and wait for their partner
They’re like the driver who goes 160km on the highway. As long as conditions are good and there are no other drivers, all is good. Then something goes wrong – and what could have been a not-so-bad outcome can be catastrophic.
Where it comes from:
- Speeding
- Lack of connection and awareness of the partner’s body.
How they’re dangerous: Usually, these injuries come because of one little thing gone wrong. For example, not letting the head finish a movement before yanking back, or starting a new movement without quite waiting for the end of the first one. At slow speeds, these tiny pieces don’t cause much damage – but momentum can cause a greater chance of injury.
You may be one of these dancers if:
- You feel the need to hit everything in the music – regardless of partner
- You do not adjust the level of your dance to the speed of the song
- You have a habit of not finishing movements
- You dance fast, but sometimes don’t take the time to know where your partner’s body is
- You have a problem with anticipating movements (follows)
- Your dances are best described as ‘challenging’ – lots of cool stuff, but no breathing room
How you can fix it: Practice your connection skills, and learn how to sense when your partner is not in the movement with you. If you are a lead, try leading slow-motion to find hiccups in your connection. If you are a follower, practice waiting. Chances are, you’re overshooting a movement before your partner is even there.
Type 3: The One who is Totally Oblivious
Who they are: This dancer may have great connection with their partner – but they have no idea what is happening around them. They’re so focused on their partner, they forget floorcraft. This means that accidental bumps and collisions are quite frequent.
This is like the driver who switches lanes without checking their blind spot, or just didn’t see that stopped car up ahead. They may be a great driver when there’s no one else around – but become a hazard as soon as they have to deal with other bodies.
Where it comes from:
- Lack of awareness and floorcraft
How they’re dangerous: These are usually indirect injuries. Basically, they will either injure someone else’s partner by running into another couple, or they’ll injure their partner because they threw them into another couple. Sometimes, it can even be obliviousness of another oblivious couple – which leads to two partnerships that both realize too late that there’s a collision coming.
You may be one of these dancers if:
- You find yourself frequently hitting other couples
- You find yourself frequently being hit by other couples
- You’ve never heard of ‘dancing for the floor’
How you can fix it: Learn floorcraft. Try dancing in a confined space. Try keeping an eye on where all the other couples are while you are dancing. It takes practice, but you can become aware. Even if it requires going more slowly or adjusting your dance, place a high priority on making sure that you have room to execute the movement. Learn how to abort movements if someone comes into your line of fire.
Type 4: The Nervous One
Who they are: Nerves can get the best of anyone – but nervous dancers can suffer from jitters that actually make them dangerous! These are the people who are so convinced that they can’t do something right that they second-guess every movement. Rather than follow through, they’ll over-correct or switch suddenly. It’s like the driver who realizes they’re drifting, so over-corrects their car into the other lane.
Where it comes from:
- Nerves
- Lack of faith in one’s own abilities
How they’re dangerous: They tend to injure because they spontaneously take the movement in a new direction, or they go too big in an effort to be ‘clear’ in leading or ‘responsive’ to following. Usually, there is a ‘stop-and-go’ feel that leads to roughness at the start and end of moves.
You may be one of these dancers if:
- You get really really nervous
- You freak out, and change your mind on movements frequently
- You have a tendency to hold on too tight or overdo movements.
How you can fix it: Breathe. If you need to go slow, go slow. Follow through on your movements. Get training. You’ll likely outgrow this, but in the meantime you need to calm down to keep control of what you are doing.
Type 5: The Drunk One
Who they are: They’re anyone, but drunk. Much like a drunk driver, it’s just a bad idea.
Where it comes from:
- Alcohol, or drugs
How they’re dangerous: Lower inhibitions, higher opinion of one’s dancing, and worse motor control create an easy-injure cocktail. Everything from every other type (except maybe Nerves) plays into this. Plus, they’re probably not as able to understand their partner’s reactions.
You may be one of these dancers if:
- You get drunk, or really tipsy
How you can fix it: Drink less, pace yourself better, or refrain from drinking until after you’re done dancing. There’s no excuse for creating a dangerous situation because you wanted to get a buzz.
I’m worried I might be a dangerous dancer. How can I tell?
Ask! Your teacher likely has a pretty good idea – especially if they often follow or lead you. If a teacher is not an option, ask a collection of more advanced social dancers. If they know that you’re open to feedback, they’ll likely provide ‘cushioned’ feedback, like:
- “Well, sometimes you’re a bit rough”
- “It’s challenging to dance with you sometimes”
- “I need to be in top shape to keep up with you”
- “You travel a lot”
- “I sometimes get a little bit stressed when we are dancing”
Usually, people ‘go easy’ on the feedback to avoid offending you. If you get feedback like this regularly, you may be a dangerous dancer that needs to tweak some things you’re doing. If you are a dangerous dancer, we don’t think you’re a bad person! We just want you to fix those things so that it’s easier to dance with you!
When asking for feedback, keep in mind that beginners are usually a pretty poor indicator of whether or not you are dangerous. While they are the most likely to get injured, they’re also most likely to mistake ‘rough’ for ‘strong’ and ‘fast’ for ‘good’. They know they’re a weaker dancer, so they’re simply trying to ‘dance up’ to the level, and may not realize that there are dangerous behaviors.
If you are dancing with a dangerous dancer and you don’t think you can protect yourself, say something. You can be nice, but let them know! I’ve done this too – and it sometimes works very well. It’s not worth getting injured.
Be safe, lovely dancers!
Did we forget a type, or do you have some comments to add? Leave them below!
Photo Credit: Brian De Rivera Simon, Tarsipix Studios
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A dancer with long hair. (Women).They don’t seem to think there hair can be a problem so leave it down and as a lead turn them we get wiped in the eye’s. It painful and sore.
Then we have dancers that holed onto tightly , be it your hand or your shoulder. I think they fear of falling over so they hold onto there partner fingers for dear life an as a result try to dislocate them for the partner hand.then we have that pull on you shoulder as you lead them into a turn.they pull so hard it hurt an results in a very painful shoulder or half of your clothing being removed.
Grippers!! Leaders who grip with their thumbs can cause bruising, partucularly if they are also a speed merchant. Gripping makes it more difficult to respond properly to the lead, particularly if their timing isn’t perfect. I also find it difficult to lead someone who is gripping. They can’t feel a lead so well so every move feels like hard work.
Quite agree with gripping some guy really hurt my thumb when I politely told him he took offence
Followers are also guilty of griping tightly,leaving bruises on the leads hands,and depending on leads to maintain balance, rather than be responsible for their own balance.
Canonballs:
Once they go in a direction, they keep going that way at full force, fully confident that you have the skill and strength to stop them. Primarily seen in follows but have also seen leads do this.
At best, it throws the dance off-kilter because the partner usually has to compensate in a way that throws them off balance or off-rhythm. There is a greater risk of the canonball hitting nearby dancers. At worse either the canonball or partner or both can get injured by the yanking force required to stop the motion.
How to recognize it.
– You tend to collide into your partner when going from an open to a closed position.
– You often find you and your partners arms are fully extended at the end of a swingout or a turn.
– You often find yourself facing away from your partner at the end of a swingout or a turn.
– You find yourself being gripped and pulled at the end of swingouts, consistently, by everyone, to stop your momentum.
– If you were to let go when fully extended, you would probably smash into the nearest couple.
What you can do to prevent it.
– Learn floorcraft
– Focus on spacial awareness
– Control your own momentum
– Be your own brake
– When traveling in any given direction, never aim further than a full extension will allow. There is a “dance radius” established by you and your partner. And although you may travel as a pair, that radius between you is finite. Stay within it.
– Avoid full extensions of your arms, especially those that twist your shoulder/upper torso into awkward positions. It’s much safer to always have a little bend.
– Be grounded and maintain your own balance. You should be able to stop yourself from going anywhere immediately if you break contact with your partner. If your partner was to let ho, and you would either fall or collide with someone, then you need more spacial/self awareness.
Everyone is a dangerous dancer to someone who doesn’t know how to defend and take responsibility for themselves. Irresponsible behavior will eventually hurt somebody.
The third most dangerous dancer sends mixed or too many signals. This becomes much worse when combined with any other problems (some wouldn’t even be dangerous without adding mixed signals).
The second most dangerous dancer is a damaged dancer, who needs to limit certain movements or pressures and might suddenly shift to avoid pain. They’ll likely try to make you feel bad in addition to making you support them. If you have pain, let it be known or take the consequences. If you have pain take it easy and don’t over-compensate.
The most dangerous dancer uses their weight to control you. I don’t mean fat dancers, who are sometimes the best. Anyone who uses their weight to push, pull, or resist is likely to hurt you.
Dance WITH your partner, not on, under, for them or yourself. You’ll have to compromise, but compromise the moment, not each other, yourself, or those around you.
How can you do counterbalancing moves without using your weight?
Awesome article! I would second the comment above about grippers.
The sticky outers!
The dancer who has their elbows sky high and their legs kicked out behind like nobody else exists.
You might be one if: you kick a lot of people or get kicked a lot, or you know a lot of people with black eyes.
How to fix it: Keep your feet within your body range, keep your BUMper out, check your turning technique. Apologise when you get it wrong.
I’ve unknowingly been one of these and been victim to them. Since I fixed I’m getting a lot less injuries. If I’ve ever kicked you, I’m sorry (again)!
Excellent article, I’m not the best dancer in the world but I can relate to this article 100%
The amount of times I’ve been bumped into and trodden on by people who I imagine think they are the only ones on the dance floor…blimey.
Incredibly sensible advice that every dancer should be aware of, regardless of ability. Lots of dancers seem to think that they have reached the point where they are expert and refuse to partake in lessons because they don’t need them, then they give their ‘expert’ advice to other dancers on the dance floor. As an intermediate dancer myself, I am continuing to learn by taking part in lessons, workshops etc, and will continue to learn as long as I am dancing.
Male dancers that want to show everyone all their fancy footwork, just use a female to dance with because it would look stupid if they are on the dancefloor by themselves showing off. They don’t lead/dance to the level of who they are supposed to be partnering, they’re too interested in “spotlighting” themselves!
Also, the guys that are “teaching” on the dancefloor and not paying attention to anyone around them !!!
Great exploration and explanations! I found this very helpful.
If there could be 1 more, I would say the one who doesn’t dance “defensively” (as in defensive driving). It’s important to be aware that there are dancers of all different physical abilities and awareness skills on the floor, just like in society, and that those with greater ability and awareness need to be proactive in avoiding collisions, etc., to help maintain a welcoming atmosphere for a variety of abilities.
I’m definitely a nervous dancer, and I know because my teacher calls me out for it all the time, but not in the way above. When I get flustered, I cling or clamp down on my partner. More than once I’ve heard “Relax, you have me in a death grip.” Since first starting out, I’ve gotten much better, but still fall back on bad habits sometimes. It wasn’t until I was on the receiving end, dancing with another beginner with the same problem that I realized how dangerous it is
the most dangerous dancers are the dancers that undermine other dancers, it’s nothing to do with ability but to do with negative attitude.
So many times I have had dancers who just wanted me to be a leader of a different style, or lead like thier teacher does, not just a bit but kind of exactly like them, dancing is not about following a style it’s about the interaction and adaption – if someone does not dance as you are used to, try to see how you can dance more with them and don’t assume you are the keeper of expertise.
Occasionally I have got so fed up with some expert being disappointed with my lead that I just turned round and got them to lead, I followed reasonably well and then suddenly there was a move that confused me. Hopefully they then started to think that the dance was not about either of us dancing in a particular way, but about connecting and adapting.
In some cases I found I would try too hard to fix the dance, and even try to impress – and largly it is then that things go wrong. Always remember dancing is about connection, passion and putting your partner at ease there should be no power play on abilities beyond flirting with the dance. But also remember that the other dancer may not realize or know you can be fun, and a laugh. We are many people in how we act and at our best when others find that in us.
If the other dancers seem a pain and not smiling, it might be because they are nervous, this is when patience is important and not trying too hard to impress, give them time to relax. If you can use some humour well – then do so. Partner dance – it’s creating a connection, that can make all the difference.
Also it can take a few dances over many events to really get another persons movements, not everyone is a perfect lead or follower but knowing how someone will lead or follow can make a huge impact.
Often the problem with dancing is that the people who you might label as bad or dangerous dancers, might not actually be that bad, you potentially could be the cause for thier bad dancing. Once you start thinking that if a dance is not going well, what can YOU change, without trying too hard, you will not have many bad dances. If in doubt don’t be selfish, give instead.
If your the one doing this – you get all the good dances and if they don’t they will probably not!
For instance follower that hold back too much, or leaders that lead more without waiting for the connection, both cases they easily blame thier partner when thier lack of engagement require a lot of experiance from the other partner to work around.
Dancing is not about blame it’s about becoming one with someone else in the music, blame is a risky pusuit it may just give you less good dances!
While a comment above talks of asking teachers if you are a bad dancer… I think often they are the problem because rarely do teachers cover social dance in terms of tension and dance space, they are sometimes honestly often too busy trying to impress everyone with a beautiful routine. But this is my views from many many years of salsa and other dances. I know I am far from a perfect dancer and I am sure I have danced dangerously but when that happend I am fairly sure that the partner was also to blame, dance is a communication.
Always dance with your partner to make them look good and if they do the same then it is surely a good start, and remember the only way to dance well is to make sure that the person you dance with leaves the dance floor after a dance still smiling.
Hi Justin,
I appreciate that you have taken the time to write in. However, I’m not sure what teachers you’ve been going to that don’t cover social dancing? I know very few reputable teachers who do not teach their students how to social dance.
Great article and I have been in that situation most of time while dancing and still sometimes commit the mistake while dancing. A clear cut guide what to do or what not to do while dancing with partner. Thanks for sharing
How about the leads that think that all they have to do is constantly spin their followers, from the start to the end. It’s very frustrating to not be allowed to have a lovely dance, with rythem and musicality. This happens with new Salsa leads and it is not enjoyable. I also agree that too many dancers seem to kick their legs back in a crowded dance floor, that’s dangerous and unnecessary unless you are in a show.