When you receive a selfless dance, it is magical.

It can make you feel like you are on top of the world. At a minimum, it makes you feel happy and peaceful. It can lift your spirits or mend your mood, because the selfless dance is exactly what you needed in that moment.

It can rescue your mood after a bad dance.
It can make you forget about your daytime troubles.
It can create a magical memory to take home.
It can make you fall in love with the dance.

But, the Selfless Dance should not be about you.

The Selfless Dance should be about what you can give. It should be about sharing yourself. It requires vulnerability and sacrifice (without putting yourself in danger, of course). It requires setting aside your ego.

In order to give someone a selfless dance, you cannot focus on your own happiness; you must focus on the happiness of your partner. It is about lifting them up and creating a magical experience. It is about working with the partner’s energy, their vision, and their interpretation. It’s about making the imperfect work, and turning the perfect into a work of art.

A Selfless Dance requires giving up your idea of a perfect dance, and seeking no gratification.

Your happiness and gratification will come back to you because of what you unlock in your partner. It will come to you after being a participant and creator in a harmonious and fulfilling dance experience.

If you expect gratification from the dance, it will hurt your ability to find ‘dance nirvana’. Expectation of a personal return is the destroyer of the selfless dance – which is counter-intuitive, since the selfless dance so readily bestows the giver with an amazing dance.

If you aim to be a selfless dancer, you will find yourself more valued in many ways. 

You will be loved by beginners, some of whom will grow into fantastic, dynamic partners. These people will continue to seek you out, even once some of them surpass your skills.

You will be loved by the pro’s, for being an open and caring promoter of their beloved art form. They may even seek to dance with you because of your open and giving energy.

You will be loved by your fellow social dancers, who will see you as a giving and selfless partner – regardless of your dance skill level. You will find your connection improving, as you seek to understand your partner before yourself.

Strive to give the Selfless Dance as often as you can. You and your partners will see the return.