Did you grow up dancing, or with a deep desire to dance?
If you didn’t, do you ever have that distinct, deep wish that your parents had made you take dance when you were a kid? I mean, seriously. If you were classically trained, everything would be SO much easier. It really would.
But… would it really have been the right decision? Would you still be dancing?
4 Tries
It took me 4 tries before I even decided I liked to dance. I tried ballet at 5, hip-hop/jazz at 12, ballroom at 17, and finally Salsa at 20.
When I was 5, my parents did enroll me in ballet. After 3 weeks, the teacher diplomatically approached my parents and explained that ‘perhaps ballet was not a good fit for me’.
“Why?” my parents asked, surprised. The teacher told them I was too disruptive. Instead of doing ballet exercises, I was prancing around the room in my little ballet skirt pretending I was Sailor Moon.
When I was 12, my parents (at my request) enrolled me in hip-hop. The prerequisite was Jazz, so I had to do that too. I lasted 3 weeks before I quit hip-hop. Why? “They made me do push-ups”. When I was 12, I really didn’t like push-ups.
I did make it through 1 year of jazz, before deciding that I really didn’t like the costume I had to wear for recital. So, once again, I bid dance adieu.
When I was 16, my parents convinced me to begrudgingly join a ballroom dance class with them and other 45-ish year olds. I was the only person under 40. I loudly declared dance just wasn’t for me.
Is ‘The Force’ a good thing?
In theory, I had 3 previous tries to immerse myself in dance. If I had taken any of these three chances, I’d have had a way easier time with the partner dances I have since chosen. But, there was a reason dance didn’t stick:
I hadn’t fallen in love with dance yet.
So what? What if I had been forced to stay in class? What if my parents told me that I must stick to this thing?
Well, chances are I wouldn’t be dancing today. If you force someone to do something they’re not ready to embrace, they often get sick of it, do poorly, or quit. Even if I had been a great dancer in high school , there’s a high likelihood that I would have left it behind in my university days to pursue other non-dance things.
Discovering Dance (For Real)
As it is, I was given the space to come to dance in my own time. When I finally had that encounter with Salsa, I was ready for it. I wanted to do it. I wanted the social life, the sexiness, and everything that came with learning the dance.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to dance with every fibre of my being.
I hit my dance-groove eventually, even though I was very, very awkward at the beginning. Even though my very first salsa teacher told me to quit. Even though I had no dance background to speak of.
Has my lack of formal childhood training hindered me in some ways? Yes. Lines were a very difficult concept to learn, as were many concepts about my body. Aesthetics and styling were extremely unnatural to me for the longest time.
Hindsight is 20/20
A part of me still wishes that 5-year-old me recognized the gift that ballet could have been. That my 12-year-old self was forced to endure hip-hop’s push-ups, and jazz’s costumes. That my 16-year-old self decided that dance was more important than the social repercussions of being around ‘old people’ (aka: people-like-my-parents).
Funny how that last one is just not a problem for me in social dancing nowadays… Oh, the magnificent teenage brain. What a difference a few years makes.
But, the rest of my brain also knows that if I had been forced to dance, I may never have fallen in love with it at all.
It could have been that thing that I was forced to spend my free time on.
It could have been that thing that prevented me from having friends.
It could have been that thing my parents made me do.
It could have been that thing I couldn’t wait to get away from.
Instead, I fell for it at 20. I fell in love with dance a bit later than some, but boy, did I ever fall hard. Today, dance is the thing that makes me feel most alive. It thrills, relaxes, challenges, and fulfills me. I can’t imagine my life without it.
The next time that you catch yourself wishing you had been ‘forced’ to dance as a child, ask yourself:
Would you really have fallen in love?
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Do you have a story you want to share about how you discovered dance, or about whether you wish you danced as a kid? Leave it in the comments below!
Photo Credit: Brian De Rivera Simon, Tarsipix Studios
Speaking as a dancer who started at two because I couldn’t start at 1 and a half as well as a dance teacher of all ages, I have to say that while the list of reasons is spot on (pre-professional training devastated my social life as a kid, I know that;), the onus falls pretty heavily on the teachers in these examples. Dance classes teach kids so much more than just dance. In my opinion, they are exactly the place for a little girl to play Sailor Moon and feel encouraged to embrace her creativity. They’re where teenagers learn that hard work pays off and that no matter how you feel that day your friends are depending on you to be in the right place at the right time so they can leap knowing someone will be there to catch them. I had some very discouraging teachers for a few years and went home crying every night. I am forever grateful for the foundation they gave me but also know (and have seen) that there are many other ways to produce excellent dancers. Dance classes are places for kids to find themselves and grow up. They’re places where they can get tougher because someone shows them that they have the potential to accomplish great and unique things and the work they need to do to get there. It (and the costumes, most certainly) isn’t for everyone. Some find the teamwork and hard work in team sports, some in orchestras or punk rock bands, but it’s the responsibility of the teachers to know whether they’re training ballerinas for New York City Ballet or to be solid human beings who know that a couple of blisters are worth it if you nail that pirouette in the tutu you always wanted to wear. Frankly, if you can survive puberty in a leotard and tights the real world is a piece of cake. No wonder so many doctors grew up in ballet academies 😉
I hated dancing for as long as I could remember. The dances in school were baffling to me. It just didn’t click, none of it did. When friends dragged me to “the club” or a bar where dancing was happening, I just felt so awkward and out of place. I stood at a table hugging my drink and tried my best to not feel like Marlin in the Fish-friendly Sharks club. I didn’t connect with the music on any level, and just had a miserable time save for one or two very specific spans of maybe 30 seconds.
When I was 14, I went to Disneyland, and I saw a big group of people in a pavilion swing dancing, and I thought “now there’s something I could maybe get into.” At the time, I didn’t know how I might even try to do that. I figured you needed a partner, and I certainly didn’t have that. I probably also had some kind of anxiety (you can hold hands with a girl and not get married immediately afterwards whaaaaat?) or thoughts of it not being a “cool” thing to try. So I didn’t try it. Fast forward another 14 years to a time in my life where I’d moved to a new place, and wanted to meet people. With google having been invented in the intervening time, I found that there was actually a relatively big swing scene in Seattle, and gave it a try. That was just a couple years ago, and now any week where I don’t go out dancing at least three nights is rare. I don’t need all the fingers on one hand to count all the things that have changed my life as much as dancing has.
If I’d tried it when I was 14, would I have fallen in love? I’m not sure, maybe so. It’s hard to say. I think I may have been too nervous at the time. I do wish I’d gotten into it sooner, and I’m always envious of the really amazing dancers who say they’ve been at it since they were 10. But as late as I got into it, I’m just glad it wasn’t later.
I knew I wanted to be a ballerina before age 4 and started “kinder dance” before I turned 5. I loved it and kept going every year, but as I got older, I became less serious. I had a great teacher who kept asking if I would take more classes, but I didn’t want to take the time on the weekends. I stopped after 8th grade. I had taken a point class, but I knew I wasn’t serious enough to actually learn. I decided to play high school sports instead. Sometimes I wonder, if I had really worked as hard as I could, could I’ve had a shot at dancing professionally. Even if I’d wanted it, I don’t think I had (or have) the kind of drive and determination it would take to be at that level. I’m glad no one forced, or even pushed, me to work harder at ballet! I danced because I enjoyed it.
I didn’t try partner dancing till after college. I moved to a new city for a job. After a year here and not making one friend, I kept hearing a promo for a weekly swing dance on the radio. I finally went and life got so much better! It only took a few months before I was learning other styles and traveling for weekend dance events with friends. Dance has always been a wonderful part of my life. I still dance simply because I enjoy it.
I have a dance instructor in Dubai and we have really good relationships. He used to tell me that it is never too late to start dancing. When i was 20 i went to the dance classes in his school dubaidance.com and he taught a lot since then, i really appreciate hin impact on me.
I really liked your article!! Dancing is one of the best things we can do whether we are young or old, dancing helps us relax and it’s never too late to start dancing.